And Then I Fucked Up…

Well hey there. It's been awhile. Surprised anyone still cares enough to stop by. It's much appreciated. Now let me just get to it...

I was on a roll. I was helping people. Some people actually called me inspirational (blushing). I lost over 70 pounds. I was working out with my wife 5 days a week. I ran my first 10k. I was happy.

And then I fucked up... <cue the backstory>

Back in November I felt like I was finally making a difference. I was receiving more and more email with questions about my journey, and I was happy to help any and all who would listen. I even had a few major blogs contact me, asking if I could do a guest post. Sweet! I decided it was time to have my first "competition" in December. I even came up with a clever (I thought) name: The #NoFatChristmas Challenge! Brilliant! I was all set to take December by storm and then all of the sudden, I fell into a state of depression that I hadn't experienced in years... Shit. :/

I am not sure what triggered it, but it was as real as can be. I felt sad. I felt cold. I felt alone.

It was at this point where I fucked up. I let the depression win. I stopped running, and started eating like I was running twice as much. I stopped going to the gym. I broke every rule I had made for myself. I ignored every piece of advise I ever gave - and just started eating to comfort myself. Wow. I am a moron. Wait - actually I am just human. Humans make mistakes. Yeah. That sounds much better than that whole moron thing, right? #MoronicHuman?

Getting Back on Track
During this entire process, I stopped visiting the blogs that I came to follow and I didn't feel like talking to anyone about my problems. Hell - I wasn't even entirely sure what they were anymore. All I knew is that I didn't want to talk to anyone about them. This was another bad choice. My blog has always been my way of venting. My way of sharing my feelings. If nothing else I should have been blogging about what I was going through. It could have helped. I even received an email from my friend Jon asking how I was doing, since he hadn't heard from me in awhile. That was awesomely thoughtful. The other day I stumbled upon some bookmarks to a few blogs in particular that helped inspire me to get myself back together. A special thanks to Jon, Steve and David for their inspirational blogs and kind words. Your support is much appreciated.

Wednesday Weigh-In
So I got up off my ass and had my first real weigh-in of 2012 today, and here are the results: I am up 12.6 pounds and 3.6% body fat. Mellon Farmer!!!

So here I am, though I am far from where I started (240+ pounds), I still feel that I have a tough journey ahead. I am not putting this off any longer. It's time for me to get back on track. It's time for me to remember my mantra: Fitness is a journey, not a destination. Start your journey today. Tomorrow is just an excuse.